I believe genetics have taken over

Having been around and seen many things, on the news disturbing things happening everywhere. Everyone usually blames the parents when their child does something terrible, or they blame video games and music. At the time of the Columbine shootings they tried to blame the music for what happened saying that the music was what made them shoot up all of their classmates. I never bought into this idea because at that time I listened to the same music, so I could see for myself that if you were not inclined to do something the music had no influence on you. I find it sad when things like that are blamed.

Having lived through some rather un pleasant things in my life and being an introvert then add to that my music and television choices throughout life, according to most I should be a bad person who hurts others. Apparently, having been abused myself by their rules I would have carried on that with my own children. Personally, the second I found out I was pregnant with my first son Damian I was conflicted because I did not think that I could be a good parent because what did I know about being a good parent?

I decided that I would try to be opposite of my own parents. I did not want to be a Momster I would not raise my hand to my children and I would not tear them down with words calling them stupid, fat or whores. You name it I was called it by my mother and stepfather, it is hard to have self-confidence when the people who are supposed to put your own life before their own make you feel like you are a piece of crap that crawled out of the sewer. So in short I decided to break the “cycle of abuse”. I am far from a perfect parent but I vowed that I will never treat my children the way I was treated growing up.

I have been told by some that I am far too easy on my children, I have heard nasty comments by passersby saying in their days children knew better than to do whatever they saw my kids doing, thinking to myself in your days child abuse was legal and what good did you do by being so ignorant towards your children? I feel that I am pretty strict with my children and yes sometimes I will spank them if they deserve it or raise my voice when needed but those are last resort and are not even close to what is considered child abuse. The point here is that I do not believe in child abuse, in fact I advocate against it but I also will not allow my children to be out of control.

I have digressed as I always do, my point is that people are not always abusers because they themselves were abused and not all people who listened to Marilyn Manson as a teen go and shoot up their high school. Parents aren’t always to blame but I would like to think that if your child was showing signs of becoming a mass murderer ie. intentionally killing little fuzzy animals or something that you would be aware of it and seek medical help for your child (they call this preventative care).

Gabby has had many issues in her 9 almost 10 years, she does not really know her biological father. I decided while I was pregnant with her that  he was far too unstable to be around my kids. He seemed like a real nice guy when I met him but having witnessed how quickly he could go from zero to super scary and finding out about his rather hefty criminal record, I decided I could not handle that and raise my children safely. It seems though that genetics have given me a mini him, she has inherited ADHD (with possible mood disorder). I pray for her the most out of my children, I pray that she can gain control over her temper and that she will cease the spewing of horrid things from her mouth. I will continue to do everything I can to help her with all of this but sometimes I feel that her genetics are beating me.


Smiley360 Mission for dogfood

I have a 28 day mission trying a sample on my dog of Purina One Dog food, Honestly I have seen several people debating whether or not this food is good for your dog. From our personal experience during this trial we saw noticeable differences in our dogs coat within the first week. which is great because our dog has allergies which cause him to chew at his bum all of the time and make open sores and this has decreased seriously since the beginning of this trial I would say that is good wouldn’t you? I do not get compensated with money for my opinion just so you know, I would not lie because a company paid me too. This is our personal experience so far with this dog food and our dog! Follow the link to find out more and get a coupon for this dog food if you would like to try it! http://h5.sml360.com/-/2n9r

Book Invincible

as part of a mission for Smiley360 I read the first chapter of this book Invincible (click link for author etc.). I personally did not care for it it is about child abuse/ domestic abuse growing up around it and noticing signs. Like I said I did not care for it but I have read many books on the subject matter and grew up dealing with child abuse not in it’s extremest form but nonetheless I think it gives me some knowledge on the subject matter. Anywho click the link if you want to check out the book because you might find it enlightening.

We lived through the first week of school

The kiddos started school on Wednesday, they all seem very chipper right now about school. All four kids told me that their teachers said that they would never have homework, somehow I do not believe this is true! The boys both decided to give soccer a try, on the first night of practice Damian (my son that has autism) stood there on the field just playing with the grass. Damian decided it was not for him but we kind of expected that would be his conclusion, but we encouraged the boys anyways. Sebastian my child with Severe Depression ( I can’t remember the technical or medical name of the disorder but basically what I have been told by the doctors is that he will always suffer from severe depression) decided to keep playing. After about 2 more practices he told me that soccer did not hold his interest anymore, but I tried to convince him to give it a little more time before quitting because there are no take backs when you quit things like this. So Sebastian agreed to two more practices he went to the next practice, but my car decided to die on the way back from taking Gabby to her new doctors appointment so Sebastian decided he just wanted to quit soccer because he didn’t want to walk to and from soccer.

Now my daughter’s both signed up Friday for soccer at their school, hopefully everything works out and they stick with it. I do not know what all we will need I assume shin guards and mouth guards, but who knows what else. I would have thought that at signups they would have handed out papers telling you the list of supplies they would need. Another thing how come the school does not require signed permission from your doctors for physical education but they have to have it for sports? Just saying that is a little screwy right? Hoping this will not be an issue because I have no vehicle to take my kiddos to the doctors for a check up right now, and who knows how long we will be without a vehicle. My old man is really picky about who he lets fix the car, then there is the whole coming up with the money to pay for it to get fixed. I wont even go into the fact that I do not want to drive the car to the car doctors because I really don’t want to rush the end of my life!

I know that things will eventually work out, but I had hoped that the children would all love doing sports and that it could build their social skills and build their self esteem, oh yeah and that the car would not fall apart!



New Mission from Smiley 360

Most sites that promise you free items or offer for you to do surveys in exchange for cash or in reality points that will never actually add up for you to get rewarded for your time and service are a lie, but in this case you actually get a full sized product to try and all you have to do is give them your honest opinion. I have been doing missions for Smiley360 for over a year now and it is awesome. Right now I get to try Purina One Dog Food for free, I got to try Pepcid, I have also tried several other products. This is for real If you like to try new products for free then this is for you http://h5.sml360.com/-/2n9r

Book about Domestic violence

read an excerpt from Invincible a book on Domestic violence and childhood abuse, and well I expected to learn something new but really didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know from personal experience in life . I really don’t have any compulsion to read the rest of the book but here is a link in case you all might have different opinions! http://h5.sml360.com/-/2n9iI